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The Stages of Life ‹
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The Stages of Life
| Favourite Drink
|
| Male
| Age
| Female
|
| Beer
| 17
| Wine Coolers
|
| Beer
| 25
| White wine
|
| Vodka
| 35
| Red wine
|
| Double vodka
| 48
| Dom Perignon
|
| Maalox
| 66
| Shot of Jack Daniels with an Ensure chaser
|
| Favourite Sport
|
| Sex
| 17
| Shopping
|
| Sex
| 25
| Shopping
|
| Sex
| 35
| Shopping
|
| Sex
| 48
| Shopping
|
| Napping
| 66
| Shopping
|
The Male Stages Of Life
|
Drink |
|
17 |
Beer. |
|
25 |
Beer. |
|
35 |
Vodka. |
|
48 |
Double vodka. |
|
66 |
Maalox. |
|
Seduction Line |
|
17 |
My parents are away for the weekend. |
|
25 |
My girlfriend is away for the weekend. |
|
35 |
My fiancee is away for the weekend. |
|
48 |
My wife is away for the weekend. |
|
66 |
My second wife is dead. |
|
Favourite Sport |
|
17 |
Sex. |
|
25 |
Sex. |
|
35 |
Sex. |
|
48 |
Sex. |
|
66 |
Napping. |
|
Preferred Drug |
|
17 |
Pot. |
|
25 |
Coke. |
|
35 |
Really good coke. |
|
48 |
Power. |
|
66 |
Coke, a limousine, the company jet. |
|
Definition Of A Successful Date |
|
17 |
Tongue. |
|
25 |
Breakfast. |
|
35 |
She didn't set back my therapy. |
|
48 |
I didn't have to meet her kids. |
|
66 |
Got home alive. |
|
Favourite Fantasy |
|
17 |
Getting to third. |
|
25 |
Aeroplane sex. |
|
35 |
Menage a trois. |
|
48 |
Taking the company public. |
|
66 |
Swiss maid/Nazi love slave. |
|
House Pet |
|
17 |
Roaches. |
|
25 |
Stoned-out college roommate. |
|
35 |
Irish setter. |
|
48 |
Children from his first marriage. |
|
66 |
Barbie. |
|
What's The Ideal Age To Get Married? |
|
17 |
25 |
|
25 |
35 |
|
35 |
48 |
|
48 |
66 |
|
66 |
17 |
|
Ideal Date |
|
17 |
Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in. |
|
25 |
Split the check before we go back to my place. |
|
35 |
Just come over. |
|
48 |
Just come over and cook. |
|
66 |
Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas. |
TD COLSPAN=2 FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE
|
Drink |
|
17 |
Wine Coolers. |
|
25 |
White wine. |
|
35 |
Red wine. |
|
48 |
Dom Perignon. |
|
66 |
Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser. |
|
Excuses For Refusing Dates |
|
17 |
Need to wash my hair. |
|
25 |
Need to wash and condition my hair. |
|
35 |
Need to colour my hair. |
|
48 |
Need to have Francois colour my hair. |
|
66 |
Need to have Francois colour my wig. |
|
Favourite Sport |
|
|
17 |
Shopping. |
|
25 |
Shopping. |
|
35 |
Shopping. |
|
48 |
Shopping. |
|
66 |
Shopping. |
|
Preferred Drug |
|
17 |
Shopping. |
|
25 |
Shopping. |
|
35 |
Shopping. |
|
48 |
Shopping. |
|
66 |
Shopping. |
|
Definition Of A Successful Date |
|
17 |
Burger King. |
|
25 |
Free meal. |
|
35 |
A diamond. |
|
48 |
A bigger diamond. |
|
66 |
Home alone. |
|
Favourite Fantasy |
|
17 |
tall, dark and handsome. |
|
25 |
tall, dark and handsome with money. |
|
35 |
tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain. |
|
48 |
a man with hair. |
|
66 |
a man. |
|
House Pet |
|
17 |
Muffy the cat. |
|
25 |
Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the cat. |
|
35 |
Irish setter and Muffy the cat. |
|
48 |
Children from his first marriage and Muffy the cat. |
|
66 |
Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the cat. |
|
What's The Ideal Age To Get Married? |
|
17 |
17 |
|
25 |
25 |
|
35 |
35 |
|
48 |
48 |
|
66 |
66 |
|
Ideal Date |
|
17 |
He offers to pay. |
|
25 |
He pays. |
|
35 |
He cooks breakfast the next morning. |
|
48 |
He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids. |
|
66 |
He can chew breakfast. |