D.U.I.

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws.

At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time everyone had left the bar and drove off.

Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. However, the police officer was waiting for him.

The cop stops the driver, reads him his rights and administers the breathalyzer test. The results show a reading of 0.0% blood alcohol. The puzzled officer demands to know how that could be.

With a smile on his face, the driver replies, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."