He Was Once Just a Little Green Slab of Clay
Gumby can stand
Gumby can twist
Gumby can bend
Gumby can sit
Gumby can hang on
Long known as the champion of the proletariat, icon of the hopeless, god of all things bright and green, Gumby is an undeniably quirky kinda guy delighting young and old alike. Gumby's globby hairstyle has the strange ability to bring a smile to the face of any manic depressive hairdresser. Indeed, Gumby possesses many strange features.
Take, for example, his legs which by some weird process have semi-morphed into bell-bottoms (scientists have yet to find a reasonable explanation for this). Also, take Gumby's androgeanously figured groin and the strange way he seems to skate on the ground rather than walking, as any regular self-priding plastic figurine would do.
Indeed, Gumby is more than a plasticine figure. He's… well… just odd, really. But odd in a cute kind of way… 'specially the way he can walk into books and become part of the story. Yeah, I know you're jealous of that ability!
But perhaps the most attractive feature Gumby holds is his complete and utter disregard for the normal physics of bodily motion. I mean, the positions Gumby can get that body into could earn the envy of any Vaudevillian contortionist. But don't just take my word for it… look at these amazing feats!
— Luke Kirby